In a 250mL four-necked flask equipped with a stirring device, add 0.1 mol of 1-bromo-9-octadecene and 0.1 mol of the corresponding diethanolamine, anhydrous sodium carbonate, and add 100mL of anhydrous ethanol as a solvent, 80 reaction for 8h. After the end of the reaction, evaporate out of the part of the ethanol after centrifugal separation to remove residual solids, and then the first at atmospheric pressure evaporation to remove the residual ethanol, and then reduced pressure evaporation of unreacted raw materials. After cooling, light yellow viscous liquid bis(hydroxyethyl)oleylamine was obtained.